Waking up on Monday morning knowing that there was no water in the flat made motivation to get up very hard to muster. No coffee, no apple cider vinegar in cooked water, no ‘facilities’. I had raspberries with some of the yoghurt I’d bought on the way home on Sunday for breakfast. I could put some lunch together – a grilled chicken breast, a portion of the saffron vegetable rice I had frozen last week and cucumber and tomatoes that had survived the weekend in the fridge without me. I could also make a sultana yoatie with oats, almond milk, yoghurt, sultanas and mixed spice. I didn’t have anything for an afternoon snack. I packed a bag with my work clothes, yoatie, lunch and gym clothes and went to the swimming baths around the corner for a shower.
I went to the supermarket on my way home from my training just to get greek yoghurt and vegetables to see me through to the weekend. The water was back on when I got home. 
For dinner I had a very bad steak that was mainly fat and gristle with a baked sweet potato, a carrot, onion, pepper and tomato chopped salad, a soon of yoghurt and Dijon mustard. I had a bowl of yoghurt for pudding with vanilla protein powder whisked into it, chopped dates and puffed brown rice.
Tuesday was a more normal day, starting with yoghurt and summer fruits in bed with coffee. I had a sultana yoatie at work. I had increased the amount of oats from 50 to 75 grams to help to spread my carbs a bit more evenly through the day. Fur lunch I had a salad of brown rice, grilled chicken, chopped carrot, onion, pepper and tomato with olive oil. My afternoon snack was a pot of cottage cheese, beetroot and cucumber. I trained after work as usual and had my weekly progress tracker meeting. I had gained fat and no muscle. I was disappointed but could hardly be surprised – my little treats here and there and alcohol and pastry at the weekend were evidently adding up. For dinner I had a sort-of-paella. I had defrosted another portion of my saffron vegetable rice and reheated it in lidded pan with pollock fillets, prawns, tomatoes and paprika. Towards the end of the cooking, I added frozen peas. It kind of worked and given that I hadn’t planned my meals or shopping particularly this week, it was nicer than it should have been.
I cooked a bowl of bulgar wheat during the evening with chilli flakes and chicken stock to have for lunch for the rest of the week. I made almond milk porridge with sultanas for pudding. More and more I want something sweet after my meals.
I had yoghurt and summer fruits for breakfast and a sultana yoatie on Wednesday morning and for lunch, tuna, bulgar wheat, chopped tomatoes, peppers, cucumber, carrot and red onion loosely bound with a tablespoon of olive oil. It tasted like my mum’s tuna rice salad that she makes with white rice, tuna any chopped vegetables and binds with salad cream and presses into a ring mold to serve. As an afternoon snack,I had cottage cheese, spring onion, cucumber and beetroot. I trained after work and then went out for dinner. I ordered a crab salad and was s little but surprised when I was brought a crab cake salad. The unexpected deep frying was off set by the meagreness of the portion. It was lovely but small. The leaves and avocado were dressed in orange juice and olive oil and had chilli pearls and pomegranate seeds. Later in the evening, in fear of going to bed hungry, I made a cinnamon yoatie. I found out that it really does need to sit for a couple of hours for the oats do soak up the milk and yoghurt because I had to chew the oats and it wasn’t that nice.
No surprises for guessing that I had yoghurt and summer fruits and a sultana yoatie on Thursday. I trained before work, eating the yoatie on the bus afterwards. My lunch was a tuna and bulgar wheat salad with vegetables I’d chopped on Wednesday morning (tomatoes, peppers, cucumber, carrot, onion) with olive oil. I bought a pack of four breakfast biscuits to eat during the afternoon. I still haven’t got to grips with taking enough food to work, or the right food, to stop my impulsive food purchases. Feeling quite full, I didn’t have the beetroot and cottage cheese salad that I had taken for a snack. After work I went to Bella Italia for dinner. I was very well-behaved there ordering a tomato salad for my starter and a green salad with chicken for my main. My friends had very kindly brought me chocolate from their recent holiday; one packet of dark chocolate with walnuts and another of dark chocolate with orange crispy bits – like a little thin bars of orange matchmaker. I sampled both when I got home. Even as I opened the packets I was annoyed with myself for not having the will power to stop. It was as if my forfeit for wanting to eat the chocolate was having to eat it and having to endure the disappointment in myself that would follow. I am sure I would make an excellent Catholic with this low-level shame and guilt going on in my head.
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